The second track in Justin's Rap album "Dear Rudiff"

Theories Edit

My theory for this song is that it's about Prilly hiding his true self from the normal society to avoid being confronted about his violent thoughts and how it's leading him to want to commit suicide with the lyrics "let's put a hole inside this head".

☀If you want to put your theories here, go for it. Anyone can edit it. - Takatoose

[Insert your own theory here if you like, if you do, please put this below your theory so people know.]

Lyrics Edit

Dear Rudiff, 

I’m a clown in town—not turning people’s heads  

On the prowl, I’m weaving like a thread  

About time that someone end up dead…  

But instead, I keep my posture, keep my cool  

Keeping simple, keep it loose  

Got my hands all in my pockets—my gesture for truce  

Just like you taught me,  

I know how to blend in even though I do not fit in  

It’s a costume—only pretend  In the end, it gets the job done  

And these people think I’m one of them  

They treat me like another splash of gray atop this palette of paint  

Understand I do this ‘cause sometimes I feel trapped  

Being alone under the city starts to make me retract my claws  

So I gotta’ get out to keep them sharp and alert  

It’s like flirting with the victim you about to make still and inert  

And it’s worth it, you know?  

Kinda’ gives me a purpose, you know?  

If it was not for this monthly stroll,  

I’d start to feel a bit worthless, you know?  

And I’d hurt myself—desert myself  

Give birth to the extrovert  

That has been lurking and jerking these strings inside of my noggin 

This world is drying up with one possible outcome  

-To put a hole inside my head 

Forty seasons—going on more  

Cannot remember the last time we spoke  

I got urges for insurgence  

And words stuck in the back of my throat  

Choke ‘em down with a glass of mocha  

Oh my god, it’s hard to stay low-profile  

I think it’s time that we both try to meet up  

Agree at a place I can see ya’ 

I been writing, you been working?  

I figured as much, since I haven’t got a letter back  

My mom tried to say that you a “fair-weather friend”  But fuck that bitch, barely got it together, man  

She wasn’t there! We was out in the cold—in the trenches  You kept me alive, that’s real friendship!  

All she ever did was eat up my pension  When I talk, bitch don’t even pay attention  

But you do, that’s why I keep writing  Yesterday, I guess was alright  

This nigga tried to drop me in the alley  

That shit that you taught me has started to rake up a tally  

I got a talent for blood  But remorse keeps nipping at my ear  

Feeling bad for these faces  Hope the feds can’t trace this…  

You’s the one who told me to embrace this  

I’ll be honest, I’m feeling alone  

Like, gimmie’ a sign, man—throw me or bone or something  

Every day is a struggle  That mirror you gave me is nothing but trouble  

Another dime, another a day  Back to back—a domino, I sway  

I’m starting to mind, if I’m taking your time away  

Just let me know, and I’ll cut with the bullshit!  And if not, then I don’t mean to push  

I know you a busy man, no need to rush  If I’m talking too much, I can shush  

All these emotions—I’m tryna’ flush it out or crush it  How long until a man fully drop down  

Before he hit bottom?  

-Before I hit bottom 

This world is drying up with one possible outcome  

-To put a hole inside my head  I think I’ve had enough, and I’m ready for no more  

Let’s put a hole inside this head 

I was feeling good in the moment  

Thought if I owned up to it, I’d show my true colors  

Just tryna’ be honest  I’m like a comet, leaving a trail of blood behind me  

Hey Rudiff…  Do you remember that time we picked up that slut on the side of the road?  

And she tried to do us both, but you wasn’t having that—no  

You wrapped some barbed wire ‘round her throat  

And you pulled, and she couldn’t scream  

She was choking… that was the first time I saw someone croaking  

Back then, I was real soft-spoken  I guess I’ve changed a lot  

And the doctor says not to strain, but ah!  I’m in pain!  

I’m not going back to that place!  She can’t fucking help me, she just keeps on playing it safe!  

‘Cause she’s afraid to dig down deep where my real issues sleep  

Down with the shit and the sulfur and tar  Down where my real demons are  

She just pumps me full of meds  And hopes that I’ll be docile ‘til I’m dead  

Hope’s I’ll feel awesome ‘til I’m obviously so fucked up  I can’t possibly hurt no one no more!  

Well, she was wrong, Rudiff… 

This world is drying up with one possible outcome 

-To put a hole inside my head  I think I’ve had enough, and I’m ready for no more 

Let’s put a hole inside this head  -Tru